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Captain Marvel: 2019 (Movie Review) – D+

Captain Marvel: 2019 (Movie Review) – D+
March 16, 2019 wfire3

Just watched Captain Marvel this past week. I was really looking forward to this movie and really wanted to like it! I was looking forward to having a strong female lead character (which should have been Black Widow or Scarlet Witch anyway) who could assist the Avengers and contribute some strong support to them in their final battle against Thanos.

But, unfortunately, this movie fell quite short and I would recommend that you simply skip this installment and wait for Avengers: Endgame.

Nothing of value happens in this movie… And that`s not even the worst part.

***** WARNING for this film! *****

First off this is not a superhero(heroine) movie. This is a movie about female power, independence, and feminism. That is the main message of this film – point blank. And it`s very on the nose about the message that it wants to relay to it`s (female) fan base.

So if you are not into SJW politics and just wanted to watch a fun, exciting and inspiring hero/action flick, this movie probably isn`t for you and you should definitely just wait for the BlueRay release. It`s not worth paying money to see in a theater, and not just because of the politics involved. Everything about this film felt “off” from the very beginning.

If you want really want to watch movies with strong, kick-ass, and inspiring female leads that don`t feel entitled to everything without having to put in the actual work for achieving it and have proper motivation for being a badass; Sara Conner, Ellen Ripley, Battle Angel Alita, Most Angelina Jolie films, and countless other movies are my go-to recommendations!

All of those women knew how to be tough without sacrificing any of their feminine qualities – something that every man wants and can respect in a lady + positive role models for younger girls to aspire to be like.

Which is where this movie went off the rails from the very start.

*******

*** Review ***

The movie started off feeling eerily like one of the early MCU films that should have been released around the time of the first Iron Man, at a point where the MCU was still stumbling around trying to find its legs. But I will give them credit for the opening logo, which endearingly featured the late Stan Lee – before they dumped SJW bullshit all over his memory by trying to forcefully shoehorn this totally unnecessary and unlikeable agenda-fed lead character into a franchise that they spent over 10 years carefully building at the last damn minute.

Graphics

The CGI wasn`t horrible at all. But at the same time, it wasn`t really that great either given that Marvel has spent 10 years polishing up their techniques and have managed to make some pretty amazing strides in the CGI department.

The de-aging CGI used on Samuel L. Jackson and Coulson in the film was pretty good, but it looks like they tried various techniques and didn`t manage to settle on one thing. But that`s not really too noticeable and doesn`t really detract from the film.

The aliens and Skrulls (who we will talk about later) were also ok looking. Nothing great, nothing threatening, just guys and girls in jumpsuits and makeup. That`s it. The space scenes, ships, and otherworld environments were also mediocre level. Some of the otherworld environments suffered from lighting issues that made action scenes too dim to really see what was going on in detail.

Overall, the visual feel of the movie was Netflix TV level “Ok”, but not on a standard that I would expect from an MCU film these days. I tried to chalk that up to the film supposedly having a 1980`s “retro” feel to it, so maybe they were trying to downplay the visuals to fit into the AV technology of that era in some scenes. From that perspective, it worked.

But the problem with this film wasn`t how it looked. It was the ACTING and the CHARACTER (or rather lack thereof).

*** The Main Cast ***

Captain Marvel

Brie Larson`s Captain Marvel is absolutely the most boring, bland, and uninteresting female lead character that I have ever seen in a movie! She has no emotion, no wit, no charisma, and brings nothing to the table that would even remotely begin to make a fan interested in her character.

She plays the role very smugly and her dialogue mainly just consists of snarky feminist-style remarks with a “Don`t tell me what to do” attitude, through the entire film. There is no intelligence or strategical thinking written into her lines whatsoever and instead of sounding like a well-trained soldier and strong female lead, she basically reads like a spoiled teenage brat with daddy issues who got male bullied in school for whatever reasons – a lot!

Her whole thing for this film was having to “overcome her limits and constantly being put down or told that she`s not good enough/strong enough to do something – because she`s a woman”, which leads to some of the most laughable and cringe-worthy dialogue that I`ve heard in any film so far.

“You do know why they call it a cockpit, don`t you? Hahaha!”

Seriously, who talks like that to white western women since the late 1940s? Nobody, that`s who. And for every guy out there who does speak to a girl like that nowadays, there`s usually 4 more guys out there ready to kick his ass for being disrespectful and put him in his place if they see it being done in most countries.

And to top it all off, instead of being a relatable character with personal, situational, and environmental challenges to overcome in the film, she`s a total Mary Sue character, from the start of the film until the final scene and post-credits.

There are absolutely NO CHALLENGES for her to overcome in this film, except male bullying. She is OP from the start of the film and there is never any sense of struggle or danger to her character at all.

She gets captured by Skrulls? Easily escapes within 5 minutes and beats the shit out everyone in the room without taking any damage. She falls out of orbit and onto a Blockbuster Movie? She gets right up and walks away with literally no damage at all. Her memories are tampered with and she can`t remember her past (which does bother her a little)? No problem! She`s a tough girl so she`ll just go beat up some bad buys, kick-ass and everything will be dandy! She`s totally strong, free, independent and nothing stands in her way!

Because there are no physical or emotional conflicts for her character in this film and the world seems to completely revolve around her, there is no emotional connection to this character for the fans to latch onto at all. Her powers grow exponentially throughout the movie, but her personality and character don`t. There`s no personal arc or growth for her int he film – therefore, there is NO CHARACTER, just a CGI suit that can fly and shoot laser beams, probably even without Brie Larson in it. She never has to LEARN how to USE her powers, they just come naturally to her (much like The Force did to a certain female Jedi-something in the recent Star Wars Sequels).

And speaking of Brie Larson, she brings about as much charisma and personal warmth to this role as a glass table does in the winter season without a heater in the room. Her character is supposed to be smart, strong and confident, but you can tell that the actress herself is not and is seriously trying to overcompensate for it, which simply doesn`t work.

So instead to being able to show the viewers how strong, confident, and cool she is, the movie does the next best thing and tries to TELL us how strong, cool and confident she is and why she is totally entitled to the moniker of the “strongest Avenger” without having earned it via constant exposition in the form of flashbacks of verbal repository throughout the entire film.

She`s a cold, dead character with nothing but a feminist agenda holding her up in the spotlight.

The Other Cast Members

Unfortunately, for the fans who were really looking forward to seeing a younger Nick Fury in this movie and hoping that he would actively have something to contribute to the film that would prove to be a relevant key in the upcoming Avengers: Endgame movie, Samuel L. Jackson was basically regulated to the standard, stereotypical “negro comic relief” role in this film.

He`s Brie Larson`s foolish, black male bumbling sidekick who doesn`t have a clue and needs to “learn what`s REALLY going on” from her. He doesn`t make any significant contributions to the story except playing with and rescuing an alien cat that happens to have the Tesseract inside of it.

And don`t even get me started on the whole “how he really lost his eye”, thing! Even Japanese audiences here in Tokyo were like “Really? WTF?” when they saw how that was explained.

Nick Fury never even builds a relationship with Carol Danvers in the film. They`re not friends and there`s no basis for him to really trust her or have mutual respect for her. Yet, he simply chooses to do everything that she says and follow her around on her crusades, without using his own network or checking any of his other options at all – because she is so strong and awesome!

In fact, he was so inspired by this space girl that he just met and hung out with for about 2 days, that he decided to rename the Avengers Initiative, you guessed it… After her.

She doesn`t even really need him in this film because she doesn`t form any lasting relationships and pretty-much just fights by herself the entire time, leaving him to watch over the cat.

There was no need for Samuel L. Jackson to be in this film at all. Total waste of his time and talent for a forgettable movie that nobody wanted.

This was a complete disrespect to the cool, calculating and mysterious character of Nick Fury that he has spent the past decade creating in the MCU (not to mention the rest of the Avengers cast members who were not even in this film).

The other characters in the film didn’t fare much better either I`m afraid.

Jude Law as a “bad guy” was a joke. He was a weak, pointless and completely threatless character that was just used to move the plot along. He, as well as the rest of his Kree team members, posed absolutely no threat to Captain Marvel at all and were quite easily dispatched by her without putting up any form of a memorable fight in the end. Completely forgettable in every sense of the word.

The Supreme Intelligence – didn`t say anything intelligent during the entire film and just acted as a means to manipulate, intimidate and once again oppress the Brie Larson`s character by putting her down, telling her she`ll never be good enough/strong enough, and trying to keep her “in her place” by discouraging her from standing up and becoming the powerful woman that she`s supposed to be.

This role was far beneath Annette Bening`s amazing acting ability and she should have just let this role go.

Lashana Lynch did a good job as Captain Marvel`s “other black and reliable friend” alongside Comedy Central Nick Fury, but realistically, she brought nothing to the table in this film either. She was just another sidekick for Brie Larson`s quest who blindly decides to follow her into danger simply… well… just because she`s so cool, has powers and can kick some serious alien ass now!

Keep in mind, that her character, Maria Rambo is actually a single mother, with a daughter to care for and protect who has not seen her supposedly dead friend in over six years. Yet, she immediately volunteers to be the “Driving Ms. Daisy” character of the film simply out of nostalgia without considering the potential repercussions for her daughter (who she has spent every day of her life raising for the past 8 or 9 years by herself), if Captain MArvel`s mission fails due to their motley and unprepared crew.

And what`s worse is that Captain Marvel ALLOWS and even ASKS for her to do this! She`s like, “Common, just be my taxi driver to an unknown alien space vessel with potentially lots of hostile enemies so I can kick some alien ass! Woohoo!”

No shits given about the future of Maria Rambo`s daughter at all. Not even a question about next of kin if the mission fails and mommy can`t return home. she didn`t even try to arrange for S.H.I.E.L.D. agents or resources to come and get/look after the child while they were away!

It`s a good thing that Maria Rambo really was a good and capable pilot, otherwise her child would be a ward of the state right now and Captain Marvel would still be off “helping those poor, persecuted, and underprivileged aliens” somewhere across the universe without a second thought of her safety and well-being.

Captain America would have NEVER done something like that and would have straight up REFUSED his friend`s offer to help if it required putting their own family in danger in any capacity – unless it was absolutely necessary with the impending threat of total world destruction at stake.

Captain Marvel? “Common, it`ll be fun! I`m damn near invincible! (don`t know about you guys though).”

The “Bad Guys” – The Skrulls

Ok, so in the movie trailer and all materials leading up to this film, we were led to believe that the Skrulls were on a quest to invade the earth for some reason, and it was up to Captain Marvel to stop their evil plans. Indeed, anyone who knows ANYTHING about the Marvel Comics should be well aware that the Skrulls are a very dangerous enemy and force to be reconned with due to their ability to mimic any person or organism down to the very DNA. This makes them capable of infiltrating any systems, planet, government, office or home anywhere in the universe as spies and saboteurs to destroy everything from the inside.

Traditionally they are a bad, menacing and very dangerous threat not to be taken lightly… But not in this film.

In this movie, the Skrulls are… a message… a message about refugees. No seriously, the Skrulls in this movie aren`t evil at all. They are just poor refugees labeled as terrorists by their enemies, the white elitist Kree empire who is systematically trying to enslave and wipe them out due to their race rebelling against Kree Imperial rule, so they are trying to escape to a safe place in order to be with their families and start a new life after the Kree empire destroyed their homeworld. They just want to live in peace after all.

So basically, this translates to refugees being unfairly labeled and judged as terrorists by the “evil white oppressors” who are the real bad guys behind everything.

They actually DID THAT in this film!

So the Skrulls that we were led to believe would be a viable threat were in reality regulated to weak, sniveling, and powerless alien refugees who needed to be saved by the “great white female light of hope” Brie Larson`s Captain Marvel.

This was again a great disgrace to the comics and a disservice to the fans.. Another fail for the movie.

The KREE Accusers

And finally, one of the highlights of this film’s trailer was seeing a powered-up Captain Marvel flying through enemy space ship ranks while destroying everything in her path (which is eerily similar to my character Zinjin`s legendary “Battle of Ephinox” from my novel “WildFIRE: Legend of the Ryukage Book 1, Vol. 1 – Chapter 4). That was a cool scene right?

Well, to be honest, the Kree Accusers didn`t really resent any danger in this film either. They weren`t menacing or threatening like they should have been. In fact, when they arrived to eath for the final “climatic” conflict, they just dropped a few bombs, found out she was too powerful for them, then turned around and LEFT.

That`s it. No danger or challenge at all.

Even my character Zinjin DIES at the end of his heroic battle in hand-to-hand combat with the Shi`aki Emperor, Jurion.

Captain Marvel? Not a scratch. No impact on the world whatsoever.

In summary, Brie Larson`s Captain Marvel is lifeless, forgettable and leaves nothing but a bad taste of SJW feminist politics in your mouth once you leave the theater. The acting is horrendous as the character herself has no emotion and leaves no impressions. There`s no character growth, just an OP Mary Sue character who was grated with great power but who has no legitimate reason to use them and leaves the audience not really too interested in whether she does or not.

Nothing relevant to the Avengers storyline happens in this movie. Nothing.

This movie leaves no impact, just a message about feminism that fans are tired of having crammed down their throats. All we want is good, believable characters with a great story and some kick-ass powers that have some unique qualities that we can admire, dream and inspire to be like!

But this movie doesn`t deliver any of that at all.

Halfway through the film, I was hoping that Rogue would show up and just steal this girl`s power so that the movie would finish and I would have something more interesting to look forward to in the future.

Any character, besides Brie Larson`s Captain Marvel, would have been a MUCH better addition to the MCU at this point. Even Squirrel Girl… Seriously.

Negative Impact on Avengers Endgame?

I actually thought so at first!

Like myself, I`m sure that many fans were worried about the impact that this movie would have on Avenger: Endgame after watching Brie Larson`s god-awful performance!

Nobody wants to see her as the “great-all-powerful-female-hope” that suddenly swoops in to “save” the rest of the Avengers who are fighting Thanos. That would be a complete disrespect to the entire Marvel cast that have worked for over 10 solid years to build up to this specific film, not to mention a huge disservice to the loyal MCU fans who have stuck with the franchise because they were emotionally invested in the characters that Marvel introduced prior to Infinity War.

Brie Larson`s Captain Marvel brings nothing of value to the franchise at this point. She`s a boring, uninteresting, OP character that we all could have lived happily without. Want a super strong female character? Use Scartlet Witch! That`s what the Russos have been building her up for over the past few movies for anyway, and she can TOTALLY take Thanos if she`s at full power!

I decided that if Marvel did indeed replace the hard work and efforts of the original cast with this garbage, shoe-horned in female lead character, I was going to drop the Marvel Universe just like I did Star Wars after The Last Jedi and Solo. They wouldn`t be worth my time or money to follow anymore, especially not with a lot of good shows coming on Netflix.

Fortunately, I think Marvel is a lot smarter than the crew at Lucas Films and realized quite rapidly that the fans were pissed with Brie Larson and are simply not into this character. Most of the original Avengers cast members agree as well and don`t want Brie Larson as the face of the MCU going forward.

So they made a VERY smart move the next day and dropped the following trailer, which in my honest opinion SAVED Avengers: Endgame (because after watching Captain Marvel many fans, like myself,  were actually debating if Endgame would be worth seeing).

This trailer completely restored my faith in the MCU for finishing up Endgame on a good note that will hopefully please the fans and leave Brie Larson`s Captain Marvel where she needs to be, on the sidelines of this final conflict.

They can pass the torch on to her (or even better someone else) later. But the fans want the original Avengers to deal with Thanos because they have earned it. She hasn`t.

My RETCON re-write for the end of this film!

So, let’s just chalk this up to one of the possible realities that ANT-MAN experienced then he was trapped in the Quantum Realm before he got out and back into the real world.

They should have Scott Lang just floating in the QR watching different realities and looking for his escape route when he comes across the “other dimension” Captain Marvel and Skrulls from this sorry-ass film.

That’s how he discovers the existence of Captain Marvel and knows that she could be a help in defeating Thanos if the Avengers can somehow contact her in the real world.

So, once Scott gets back to his own world and shows up at Avengers headquarters with “news” on how to beat Thanos, he might mention something about her. But Captain America and Black Widow have no idea who she is or how to contact her in this realm, so the idea is SCRAPPED!👿

The Avengers carry on with their own plans with Scarlet Witch taking over the role of the badass super-powered girl to deal some serious damage to Thanos and help the team beat his ass down into the ground!

She’s hella powerful herself and definitely has the proper motivation for it!

Plus she’s one of the strongest Marvel Comic Universe characters… and the MCU has been building her up for a major power shift over the past few movies anyway! Such a waste to not use her!!!

Captain Marvel/Brie Larson? Who???

Get that chick nobody cares about out of here!

Anyways, so the ORIGINAL Avengers take on Thanos and beat his ass, but of course a few of them die off in the end by sacrificing themselves in the fight or prior to it in order to bring everyone else who was blinked out back.

Tears and sorry as remaining survivors head home.

BUT Thanos has one more trick up his sleeve and is about to destroy our heroes with it when…

BOOM! 💥 Captain Marvel shows up at the LAST second to deliver the final blow (after he’s already been soundly defeated by the people who worked and fought 10 years to earn their victory).

That would be the “real” Captain Marvel’s introduction into this MCU. And it wouldn’t be Brie Larson!👿

She shows up because she knows about the snap. She was in the middle of fighting a bloody battle with the Skrulls alongside her Kree teammates when suddenly half of the people on the entire battlefield, friend and foe just vanished!

Everyone was trying to figure out what the fuck happened when she received Fury’s alert.

That’s why she immediately left the battlefield and made a bee-line straight for Earth.

She was tracking Fury’s pager (which Ant-Man still has on his possession during the final battle with Thanos because he was still trying to figure out if she was real in this universe or not but got preoccupied with not dying at Thanos’ hands).

That’s how she stumbled across the Avengers (wherever they are currently at) and the battle with Thanos at the end of it.

She recognizes Thanos as a bad guy for some reason and puts a final stop to him before he can suicide himself and kill the remaining Avengers team members.

After that she asks, “What the FUCK is going in here and where the HELL is Fury?”

The remaining Avengers look at her in amazement while Ant-Man just smiles and says, “Been looking for you. I think you’d better come with us.”

— Movie End —

— Post Credits Scene 1 —

A powered down Captain Marvel (not Brie Larson) sits down and chats with the remaining Avengers. She’s been away fighting the Skrull War so long that they need to catch her up on earth stuff.

Her memory of things here is fuzzy, but she is STRONG and the other Avengers are interested in enlisting her help to fill in the power gap of their fallen friends.

Captain Marvel looks worried and remarks; “Well, we might have much bigger problems than Thanos.”

Banner asks, “What do you mean, bigger than Thanos?”

Carol starts to explain that the reason she was fighting the Skrulls was because they were somehow connected to and doing the bidding of a really powerful being named ~~…”

But as she is explaining, the lights in the building go off. Hawkeye, Falcon and a few other guys spring up to investigate. The 3 girls Wanda, Black Widow and Carol all power up, ready to break some bones.

We hear fighting and a scuffle outside with shots fired and some slashing sounds.

Then quiet.

A few sounds later, in walks Hugh Jackman rocking his WOLVERINE costume and dragging poor Hawkeye by his harness.

“This belong to you?” He asks, casually tossing Hawkeye across the floor.

Black Widow shoots him in the head. Logan slowly recovers and shrugs it off. The gash in the left side of his forehead slowly begins to heal.

Black Widow watches in amusement before saying, “He’s mine. Who are the hell are you?”

Logan lights a cigar and takes a puff. “Names Logan. You can call me Wolverine. And these guys… are the X-Men.”

Ice Man, Storm and Rogue show up supporting the rest of the injured avengers who attacked them.

Logan. “ I think we need to talk.”

— Post Credit Scene End —

This post scene would set up the entrance of the X-men into the MCU!

Logan and the rest of his crew were sent to the Avengers hideout because a revived Professor X (who also turned to ash in the snap) detected Captain Marvel’s unusually high power level when she returned back to Earth and was wondering if she could be the cause of or connected to what happened during the snap.

He sent Logan to investigate because he also senses that something of epic magnitude is heading towards Earth. Captain Marvel might be a key or have some clues s to what it is.

She does have some clue, but they’ll find out more details separately over the next few Avengers and X-men films!😁

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